We all want the best for our kids, but sometimes, in frustration or habit, we say things that might hurt their confidence, self-esteem, or emotional growth—without even realizing it! 😟
Here are 10 common phrases Indian parents often say (sometimes out of love, sometimes in anger) and better ways to express the same thought in a way that helps your child feel supported and understood.
1️⃣ “Bade ho jao phir samjhoge!” (Grow up, then you’ll understand!)
This makes kids feel unheard and dismissed.
✅ Say instead: “Let’s talk about this. What do you think?”
Example: If your child asks, “Why can’t I watch TV all day?” Instead of dismissing, explain, “Too much screen time can hurt your eyes. Let’s find a balance.”
2️⃣ “Bas rote rehte ho!” (You’re always crying!)
This makes kids feel like their emotions are invalid.
✅ Say instead: “I see you’re upset. Want to talk about it?”
Example: Instead of “Chhoti chhoti baaton pe rona band karo!” (Stop crying over small things), try “I know this feels big for you. Let’s find a solution together.”
3️⃣ “Sharma ji ka beta dekho!” (Look at Sharma ji’s son!)
Comparisons crush confidence!
✅ Say instead: “I’m proud of YOU. Let’s work on this together.”
Example: If your child scores less in an exam, avoid saying “See how well your cousin did!” Instead, say “Let’s see where we can improve together.”
4️⃣ “Agar yeh nahi kiya, toh mummy/daddy baat nahi karenge!” (If you don’t do this, I won’t talk to you!)
Emotional blackmail makes kids feel insecure.
✅ Say instead: “This is important. Let’s do it together.”
Example: Instead of “Agar khaana nahi khaya toh gussa ho jaungi!” (If you don’t eat, I’ll be upset), try “Eating healthy makes us strong. Let’s eat together!”
5️⃣ “Tumse toh kuch nahi hoga!” (You can’t do anything right!)
This damages self-worth.
✅ Say instead: “You can do this. Let’s practice.”
Example: If your child struggles with tying shoelaces, avoid “Hamesha galat kar dete ho!” Instead, encourage, “Let’s try again, I’ll show you a trick.”
6️⃣ “Chup raho, bade baat kar rahe hain!” (Be quiet, adults are talking!)
This teaches kids their voice doesn’t matter.
✅ Say instead: “Give me a moment, then we’ll talk.”
Example: If they interrupt your call, instead of “Tumhe toh sabke beech bolne ki aadat hai!” (You always talk in between), try “I’ll finish my call, then you can tell me everything!”
7️⃣ “Tum ladki ho, aise mat karo!” / “Ladke rote nahi hain!” (Girls shouldn’t do this! / Boys don’t cry!)
Gender stereotypes limit confidence.
✅ Say instead: “Do what makes you happy.”
Example: If a boy cries, don’t say “Ladke nahi rote!” Instead, say “It’s okay to feel sad. Let’s talk.” If a girl wants to play cricket, don’t stop her!
8️⃣ “Ek thappad padega!” (You’ll get a slap!)
Fear-based discipline creates anxiety.
✅ Say instead: “Let’s take a break and talk.”
Example: If they throw a tantrum, instead of “Ek aur baat ki toh maar padegi!” (One more word and I’ll hit you!), try “I know you’re upset. Let’s calm down and talk.”
9️⃣ “Itni moti/mota kyun ho rahe ho?” (Why are you getting so fat?)
Body shaming hurts self-esteem.
✅ Say instead: “Let’s eat healthy and stay strong.”
Example: Instead of “Zyada mat khao, dekho kaise lag rahe ho!” (Stop eating so much, look at yourself!), try “Healthy food helps us feel strong and energetic!”
🔟 “Bas jo bola wahi karo!” (Just do as I say!)
This discourages independent thinking.
✅ Say instead: “Let’s discuss why this is important.”
Example: If your child refuses to study, instead of “Maine bola na padhna hai, bas!” try “Let’s make a study plan that works for you.”
Your words shape your child’s confidence, emotions, and future!
Instead of words that create fear, comparison, or doubt, let’s use words that encourage, guide, and empower!